Spring is here

Summertime and living is sweet and sassy.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

What Are We Teaching Our Children

Yesterday was a beautiful day. Not too hot, not too cold, no humidity!

A nice day to take LittleGuy and BigBro to the park or on a hike. So Auntie and I took the boys to a place that offered both.

It is a natural area under the auspices of the Department of Conservation and Recreation in Massachusetts. It is beautiful, "natural", and FREE! 

The parking is free. The picnic areas are free. The indoor bathrooms are free. The park is free!

Who could ask for anything more?

Yesterday, the only restriction placed on the users of the park was not to walk on the center strip of the parking lot. They had cordoned the area off with yellow caution tape and posted a sign not to walk there because they were re-seeding the grass. 

It is a nice little strip with trees to provide the cars with a modicum of shade on a hot day, with the added benefit of taking the carbon monoxide the cars emit and turning it into better quality air.

The DCR even had a young man working the center strip pulling weeds (by hand) out of the seeded area. 

The arthritis in my ankle was bad yesterday, so I chose to sit in the car (with the windows open) and work on my knitting. (The paths are rocky, pitted, and have tree roots. A fun walk, not necessarily good when your ankle wants to meet a woodsman with an ax.)

As I sat listening to Celtic music on NPR and knitting away I watched as a series of parents in their 30s take their children (ages ranging from 6-12) under the yellow caution tape and trampling over the seeded strip.

What are these parents thinking?

Do they think they are mighty rebels? Shunning society rules? Bravely defying authority?

What I saw were people too lazy to take half a dozen extra steps to get to their cars.

What I saw were people who are teaching their children to piss on everyone else's rights and property because they only care about their own convenience.

What I saw were people who will be in denial when their kids get into trouble because they flaunt the rules at school or disdain the laws of the land. (These are the parents who will beat their breasts and say "How could you do this too us?")

What I saw were people who would be suing the state if they twisted an ankle or tripped over the high curb stones.

I saw people who thought they were entitled to do anything they want.

This might sound like a minor transgression, but it wasn't just one family, it was close to a dozen. In the meantime I was pleased to see at least fifty other people walk around the area. That group consisted of a few families with children, including my daughter and grandsons, young men and women in their 20s, and many older people.

One other thing that bothered me, but I am not going to go all wild about it today . . . when people go out to "enjoy nature" why do they have to stink it up for everyone else by smoking cigarettes. I thought the purpose of going into nature was to enjoy the fresh air!

Now that I have finished my tirade, I would like to add some words of wisdom. In the 70s every parent I know had this taped to the refrigerator. Maybe it is time to post it again!!!

Children Learn What They LiveBy Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

Monday, July 14, 2014

Duke of Darkness

Anabelle Bryant has created a wonderful, tortured hero. The Duke of Wharncliffe believes his line should end with him, so he has been very careful not to get involved with anyone he might fall in love with.

When his elderly aunt dies he is asked to find a suitable match for her ward "Alex". 

To his great consternation Alex is not the young boy he expected but a lovely young woman. 

When the woman, who has been unknowingly groomed by his aunt, challenges him to a chess match. Their friendship begins.

The Duke is tortured by his family history, but not to the point where he cannot be redeemed.

The story is well written and brings you right into the characters, you can hear Just Henry racing through the corridors, his nails clacking on the marble floors.

It is a lovely love story and you shouldn't miss it.


Saturday, June 21, 2014

The Misplaced Bride

Welcome to Summer!

I am very pleased to announce my new release!!!

The misplaced Bride is now available on Amazon.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Pregnancy & Rizzoli and Isles

I love watching television!

One of the shows I currently love to watch is Rizzoli and Isles. 

It is based on a series of novels by Tess Gerritsen a Maine based author. It takes place in the beautiful city of Boston. It has a fabulous theme song that shouts out Boston. 

It is about two professional women, who are best friends, portrayed by the beautiful and fabulous Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander.

It returns for its fifth season on TNT.

Because the show has to deal with the real life death of one of its actors I was reading an article on how they were going to deal with it. 

(I am not going to deal with this here and now. It is very sad, but not what raised my ire.)

I read the comments and saw a few things I wanted to address!

One of the criticisms of the show is that Jane Rizzoli is pregnant. Another is that they broke Jane and her military boyfriend up because neither one of them wanted to leave their careers.

Let us first deal with the break up first.

One commenter felt that Jane and Casey (the military boyfriend) could have gotten married without either one of them giving up their careers, because people in the military do it all the time.

Casey was being promoted to General, and although I have never been married to a General I have watched enough Army Wives episodes to know that being the General's wife is a full-time, non-paying job.

Jane is a homicide detective on the Boston Police Force. This is not a job that can travel with her if she wanted to live with her husband, the General. Nor would it wait for her to return to Boston when his current tour of duty in Bosnia ended. Jane worked hard and for many years to become a homicide detective. It is not just a job for her, it is a calling.

Besides that, I did not want Jane with Casey Jones, I didn't think he treated her well enough, but I was glad to see Jane in a relationship. I liked her best with Lt. Joey Grant the nemesis of her childhood. However, Lt. Grant was played by Donny Wahlberg of Blue Blood fame. I don't think Donny will leave CBS at this point, even though it would make me very happy to see him and Jane get together.

Now I will address the issue of Jane's unplanned pregnancy. One commenter really riled me up when it was stated that a professional career women would never accidentally get pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy. 

Hello! Do you need the word ACCIDENTAL defined for you? 

Hello! Haven't you ever read the warnings on birth control pills, devices, and condoms? The only 100% sure fire way not to get pregnant is not to have vaginal sex!!!

Those little microscopic spermies are like rats. They are great swimmers and very determined to reach their goal. For the sperm it is to embed itself into an egg and for a rat it is to travel through a watery tunnel and come out in your toilet.

Beware of the sperm! It can impregnate even career women!!!!

Even professional career women are subject to accidents. Ask any insurance claims adjuster if he ever has to pay out a claim to a career woman who might have gotten rear-ended in a traffic jam.

And here is a news flash! Women who find themselves accidentally pregnant do not rush right out to get an abortion. A woman has to decide how best to deal with the situation. You might not like what she decides to do, but it is still the woman's decision, and it is never reached without careful thought.

And here is another news flash!!!

Most of us are the product of an accidental, unplanned pregnancy. 

It is only in the last generation that pregnancy became something you planned and not just something you crossed your fingers and hoped for the best about.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Happy Flag Day!

It's not the greatest picture of the flag, but it is the one I took on my way home from New Orleans.

We were passing through Hartford, Connecticut and off in the distance I saw the flag waving from a highrise crane. This shot was taken from a moving vehicle (on the highway) through the window glass.

I wish I could express the emotions I felt seeing the flag after driving through and experiencing thousands of miles of the roads and sites of America!

I met many wonderful people on the trip and I must thank Hannah Howell for taking me along for the ride.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Velvet Reed

Velvet Reed has a new book coming soon. I love this promo!!!

This promo got Velvet put into FB jail. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Are We Minimizing Dads

Okay. Many people might find this blog offensive, so I apologize in advance. (But I am going to write the damn thing anyway!)

I guess someone in the Sinatra family wants more money because the image and voice of Frank Sinatra (He died on May 14, 1998), not to mention his name, is being used to sell Jack Daniel's Sinatra Select.

That is a business decision someone has made, and it is a brilliant marketing plan.

However, the commercials remind me of Mia Farrows' claim that the son she previously claimed was the product of Woody Allen's loins is actually the result of Frank Sinatra's sperm.

If that is true, why did she let the world go on thinking for a couple of decades that the poor boy was the son of an alleged pedophile? Growing up with the stigma that your "father" raped one of your sisters is not something a loving mother should do to her child, especially if the young man was not the offspring of the alleged pedophile.

Then we have all the young women, and some not so young women, going on Maury and other talk shows wanting to prove which man out of the multitudes "is my baby's daddy." 

The woman is always "one thousand percent sure" the man in question is the "daddy" because he was the "only one" she was with, or if more than one man has been tested, "the only other one."

What is the purpose of these tests? The woman always claims she wants the man to step up and be a daddy, but you can't force a man to act like a daddy if he doesn't want to.

If a man wants to love a child and be a daddy he will step forward. Bringing a bunch of men (there was at least one woman on Maury that had over 29 men tested at various times for the same child) onto a television show to have a DNA test does not a daddy make.

Due to the nature of our Hunter/Warrior forebearers, a man's role in the raising of a child had been minimal. The man brought home the meat and killed the enemies. The Hunter/Warrior placed himself in danger and didn't always survive to come home, so children were raised primarily by mothers.

In today's society men have serious choices to make, but if they choose wisely they will not be stuck making child support payments for the next 18-22 years. A man can wrap it, get a vasectomy, or he can keep it to himself.

If he spreads his sperm around the courts can order him to pay for the results of his activities, but they can't force him to be a daddy.

A woman has to decide if she wants to be a Mommy who is willing to love and nurture her child, whether she has a committed partner or not.

As a reader of romance, I always love the "secret baby" stories. 

As a writer, I love to write them.

As a realist, I know that not all men are Daddy material. If a woman chooses to have a child, she must face up to the fact that at some point in her life she may become a single parent. This could happen through death or design. 

If it is through design, such as a divorce, a good man will step up to the plate and remain in his child's life, but you can't force him to. If you have a child as a single mother, you must love the child enough so that he or she doesn't have a diminished self-esteem not having a father. 

That is not done by a constant search for a new daddy, nor is it accomplished by bemoaning the fact you have to do it all. 

It is achieved by doing the best you can and loving your children unconditionally.

There are fabulous fathers who love their children unconditionally too. 

To re-enforce your child's self-esteem never, ever, bad mouth the other parent. Remember, 50% of your child's DNA comes from that other parent. Even if that parent is no longer in the child's life.

As we approach Father's Day I would like to wish all the Daddies a Happy Day.