Love is in the air!

Winter is a time of blustery winds, warm blankets, and book friends to fill your heart.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

On the Road Again . . .

I love to travel. I keep my passport close in case a handsome billionaire sweeps me onto his private jet for a romantic rendezvous. (It happens often in my dreams, perhaps they are prophetic!  At least one can hope.)

As a result of this nomadic love I have for new scenery I am ever ready to be a traveling companion for my friends and family.

Tomorrow I leave for a few days in beautiful Canada with two of my favorite authors (and friends). 

Hannah Howell the creator of luscious Highlanders. http://www.amazon.com/Hannah-Howell/e/B001HN35I8/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1

And J.M. Griffin author of cozy mysteries. http://www.amazon.com/J.M.-Griffin/e/B0074JH1HU/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

I may be out of touch for a few days, longer if I run into an exciting man. He doesn't have to be a billionaire, but he does have to have a functioning . . . brain. 




See you later, alligators . . .

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Congratulations, Ginny

Congratulations, Ginny LaMere, you just won!!!

Which scarf would you like?

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Winner to be Announced on October 1st!

On October 1st one of my beautiful scarves will be leaving me to go to a lucky follower. 

Will you be that lucky person?

I hope so. 






If you are not already a follower, it's not too late!!!

The follow button is to the right, at the top of the page.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Summertime Memories

With the passing of summer I found myself reflecting on the summers of my youth.

When I was nine my family moved from the city of my birth to a neighboring one. Both cities were in the suburbs.

The city of my birth was largely white collar, upper middle class, with large playgrounds, beautiful green spaces, tennis courts, statues, a small lake for swimming, and lots of tree shaded streets.



This was the entrance to the playground.


The new city had factories, the only playgrounds were attached to the schools, and were utilitarian, with very little equipment, and no trees.


I missed my old playground with its abundance of swings and tall slides, so one day I convinced the girl across the street to join me on a bike ride to my old neighborhood.


We packed a picnic and headed out. Our little legs pumped up and down hills and through traffic. We had to stop often and sit on rock walls to drink our water. (Back in those days we didn't have cool, unbreakable bottles, we had to use thermoses that still held the old milk smell in them from our school lunches. Back then primary schools didn't have cafeterias. You ate your lunch out of a cool lunch box if you were one of the lucky ones, or old scrunched up brown bags if you weren't.)





We rode for hours (most of it uphill) and never made it to the park. Donna really wanted to go home, so we headed back.

We both got into trouble that day for being gone so long, and Donna wouldn't make the trip with me again. 

But I did make it there before the summer was over. I spent a lot of the summer being punished, but I made it to my park with the brook flowing through it, and the swings that brought me close to the tree tops.

I never gave up until I had reached my goal.

That is the way I have always lived my life. Some goals are easy to achieve, you can complete whatever task it is in a matter of hours. You do it today, and unless it is childbirth, you forget about the journey in a week or two. 

Some goals may make you start over and over again. Your muscles might ache from the strain, your lungs burn from the pressure. People may call you foolish and try to dissuade you, but if the goal is really, really important to you, you never give up, no matter what the obstacles, no matter how long it takes.

It doesn't matter if no one else believes in you as long as you believe in yourself. 

If you don't believe in yourself, you will never succeed, even if you have thousands of people who do believe in you and are cheering you on from the sidelines. If you don't believe you will never be able to get off the ground

So hang in there and believe. Then spread your wings and fly.


Fairy dust only works if you believe.


If you are not already a follower of the Spell Room, please click on today. The button is right here ====>> below the links for The Misplaced Bride.

There is a contest that is only open to followers and it closes on September 30th!!!  (See the blog below for more details.)





You pick one.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Contest!

Sometimes I'm good and I talk about writing subjects, and sometimes I'm bad and I spout off about other things. You just never know what is going to be the topic in the Spell Room.

I am running a contest for my followers. I you are not already a follower it is easy to become one . . . just click the button on the right -> (Below The Misplaced Bride.)

The prize is a beautiful hand made scarf, worth $30. (I made it myself!)
Black Lace.

 It will make a great fashion accessory or gift for someone. (After all, the holidays are coming up.)



Purple Snakeskin

Ocelot
The contest ends on September 30th and the winner will be announced on October 1st.









Peacock Blue Lace
The winner gets to pick which scarf!
All followers (old followers and newbies) names will be placed in a hat and the LittleGuy will randomly choose one. Remember to check back often and see what is happening in the Spell Room!


Sunday, September 7, 2014

Summer and Clothing Choices

I was driving down Main Street the other day and I saw a young mother pushing her child in a carriage. The young woman had on a lovely black dress with a halter style neck and cutouts around the back arms and shoulder blade areas. From the front it was modest, no deep cleavage, in the back you could see most of her black bra with neon blue trim.

My thought was, "Wow! She looks great!"

Back in my day I would have had to go braless or not wear that dress." And as a young nursing mother there was no way I could go braless!

Now all you young women are wondering what the hell is this old crone is talking about.


Back in the day, most bras were utilitarian and ugly. Unless you did your shopping in a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog (only, there were no stores in the malls, and Frederick's was notorious for it's cupless bras and crotchless panties) you were stuck buying the same bras your mother and grandmother bought at the local department store.


There were no Victoria's Secret stores in the mall. There were barely any malls in those days and going to one was a major adventure in driving and shopping.


Our exterior clothes were sexy, but our "foundation" left a lot to be desired. (I find it ironic that there are erotic pictures of women in the old industrial girdles and bras plastering some sites on the internet. They never looked that good on the average woman back in the day.) There were no thongs. G-strings were something only a stripper wore. And if you did have one, you didn't advertise it by having it hang out of the back of yours jeans.

At my last occupational therapy session a woman came in for her session and the therapist complimented her on he tank top and she especially admired the way no bra straps showed. They then went into a long discussion on how horrible women looked with their bra straps showing.


Old dingy white bras look terrible, but bras now come in a wide variety of colors and strap types, 


Most tank tops come with straps ranging from halter, spaghetti, crisscross, to industrial strength. If you want to wear a bra under most tops you will end up with straps showing. 


I would rather you show your straps than your nipples. Because most summer tops will show your nipples if you do not wear a bra.


What do you think?

Sunday, August 24, 2014

What Are We Teaching Our Children

Yesterday was a beautiful day. Not too hot, not too cold, no humidity!

A nice day to take LittleGuy and BigBro to the park or on a hike. So Auntie and I took the boys to a place that offered both.

It is a natural area under the auspices of the Department of Conservation and Recreation in Massachusetts. It is beautiful, "natural", and FREE! 

The parking is free. The picnic areas are free. The indoor bathrooms are free. The park is free!

Who could ask for anything more?

Yesterday, the only restriction placed on the users of the park was not to walk on the center strip of the parking lot. They had cordoned the area off with yellow caution tape and posted a sign not to walk there because they were re-seeding the grass. 



It is a nice little strip with trees to provide the cars with a modicum of shade on a hot day, with the added benefit of taking the carbon monoxide the cars emit and turning it into better quality air.
(http://urbanforestrynetwork.org/benefits/air%20quality.htm)

The DCR even had a young man working the center strip pulling weeds (by hand) out of the seeded area. 

The arthritis in my ankle was bad yesterday, so I chose to sit in the car (with the windows open) and work on my knitting. (The paths are rocky, pitted, and have tree roots. A fun walk, not necessarily good when your ankle wants to meet a woodsman with an ax.)

As I sat listening to Celtic music on NPR and knitting away I watched as a series of parents in their 30s take their children (ages ranging from 6-12) under the yellow caution tape and trampling over the seeded strip.



What are these parents thinking?

Do they think they are mighty rebels? Shunning society rules? Bravely defying authority?



What I saw were people too lazy to take half a dozen extra steps to get to their cars.

What I saw were people who are teaching their children to piss on everyone else's rights and property because they only care about their own convenience.

What I saw were people who will be in denial when their kids get into trouble because they flaunt the rules at school or disdain the laws of the land. (These are the parents who will beat their breasts and say "How could you do this too us?")

What I saw were people who would be suing the state if they twisted an ankle or tripped over the high curb stones.

I saw people who thought they were entitled to do anything they want.

This might sound like a minor transgression, but it wasn't just one family, it was close to a dozen. In the meantime I was pleased to see at least fifty other people walk around the area. That group consisted of a few families with children, including my daughter and grandsons, young men and women in their 20s, and many older people.

One other thing that bothered me, but I am not going to go all wild about it today . . . when people go out to "enjoy nature" why do they have to stink it up for everyone else by smoking cigarettes. I thought the purpose of going into nature was to enjoy the fresh air!


Now that I have finished my tirade, I would like to add some words of wisdom. In the 70s every parent I know had this taped to the refrigerator. Maybe it is time to post it again!!!


Children Learn What They LiveBy Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

Monday, July 14, 2014

Duke of Darkness

Anabelle Bryant has created a wonderful, tortured hero. The Duke of Wharncliffe believes his line should end with him, so he has been very careful not to get involved with anyone he might fall in love with.

When his elderly aunt dies he is asked to find a suitable match for her ward "Alex". 

To his great consternation Alex is not the young boy he expected but a lovely young woman. 

When the woman, who has been unknowingly groomed by his aunt, challenges him to a chess match. Their friendship begins.

The Duke is tortured by his family history, but not to the point where he cannot be redeemed.

The story is well written and brings you right into the characters, you can hear Just Henry racing through the corridors, his nails clacking on the marble floors.

It is a lovely love story and you shouldn't miss it.






http://www.amazon.com/Duke-Darkness-Anabelle-Bryant-ebook/dp/B00KM0YGV2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1405372515&sr=1-1&keywords=duke+of+darkness+by+anabelle+bryant

Saturday, June 21, 2014

The Misplaced Bride

Welcome to Summer!

I am very pleased to announce my new release!!!

The misplaced Bride is now available on Amazon.



Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Pregnancy & Rizzoli and Isles

I love watching television!

One of the shows I currently love to watch is Rizzoli and Isles. 

It is based on a series of novels by Tess Gerritsen a Maine based author. It takes place in the beautiful city of Boston. It has a fabulous theme song that shouts out Boston. 

It is about two professional women, who are best friends, portrayed by the beautiful and fabulous Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander.

It returns for its fifth season on TNT.

Because the show has to deal with the real life death of one of its actors I was reading an article on how they were going to deal with it. 

(I am not going to deal with this here and now. It is very sad, but not what raised my ire.)

I read the comments and saw a few things I wanted to address!

One of the criticisms of the show is that Jane Rizzoli is pregnant. Another is that they broke Jane and her military boyfriend up because neither one of them wanted to leave their careers.

Let us first deal with the break up first.

One commenter felt that Jane and Casey (the military boyfriend) could have gotten married without either one of them giving up their careers, because people in the military do it all the time.

Casey was being promoted to General, and although I have never been married to a General I have watched enough Army Wives episodes to know that being the General's wife is a full-time, non-paying job.

Jane is a homicide detective on the Boston Police Force. This is not a job that can travel with her if she wanted to live with her husband, the General. Nor would it wait for her to return to Boston when his current tour of duty in Bosnia ended. Jane worked hard and for many years to become a homicide detective. It is not just a job for her, it is a calling.

Besides that, I did not want Jane with Casey Jones, I didn't think he treated her well enough, but I was glad to see Jane in a relationship. I liked her best with Lt. Joey Grant the nemesis of her childhood. However, Lt. Grant was played by Donny Wahlberg of Blue Blood fame. I don't think Donny will leave CBS at this point, even though it would make me very happy to see him and Jane get together.

Now I will address the issue of Jane's unplanned pregnancy. One commenter really riled me up when it was stated that a professional career women would never accidentally get pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy. 

Hello! Do you need the word ACCIDENTAL defined for you? 

Hello! Haven't you ever read the warnings on birth control pills, devices, and condoms? The only 100% sure fire way not to get pregnant is not to have vaginal sex!!!

Those little microscopic spermies are like rats. They are great swimmers and very determined to reach their goal. For the sperm it is to embed itself into an egg and for a rat it is to travel through a watery tunnel and come out in your toilet.

Beware of the sperm! It can impregnate even career women!!!!

Even professional career women are subject to accidents. Ask any insurance claims adjuster if he ever has to pay out a claim to a career woman who might have gotten rear-ended in a traffic jam.

And here is a news flash! Women who find themselves accidentally pregnant do not rush right out to get an abortion. A woman has to decide how best to deal with the situation. You might not like what she decides to do, but it is still the woman's decision, and it is never reached without careful thought.

And here is another news flash!!!

Most of us are the product of an accidental, unplanned pregnancy. 

It is only in the last generation that pregnancy became something you planned and not just something you crossed your fingers and hoped for the best about.




Saturday, June 14, 2014

Happy Flag Day!



It's not the greatest picture of the flag, but it is the one I took on my way home from New Orleans.

We were passing through Hartford, Connecticut and off in the distance I saw the flag waving from a highrise crane. This shot was taken from a moving vehicle (on the highway) through the window glass.

I wish I could express the emotions I felt seeing the flag after driving through and experiencing thousands of miles of the roads and sites of America!

I met many wonderful people on the trip and I must thank Hannah Howell for taking me along for the ride.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Velvet Reed

Velvet Reed has a new book coming soon. I love this promo!!!



This promo got Velvet put into FB jail. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Are We Minimizing Dads

Okay. Many people might find this blog offensive, so I apologize in advance. (But I am going to write the damn thing anyway!)

I guess someone in the Sinatra family wants more money because the image and voice of Frank Sinatra (He died on May 14, 1998), not to mention his name, is being used to sell Jack Daniel's Sinatra Select.



That is a business decision someone has made, and it is a brilliant marketing plan.

However, the commercials remind me of Mia Farrows' claim that the son she previously claimed was the product of Woody Allen's loins is actually the result of Frank Sinatra's sperm.


If that is true, why did she let the world go on thinking for a couple of decades that the poor boy was the son of an alleged pedophile? Growing up with the stigma that your "father" raped one of your sisters is not something a loving mother should do to her child, especially if the young man was not the offspring of the alleged pedophile.

Then we have all the young women, and some not so young women, going on Maury and other talk shows wanting to prove which man out of the multitudes "is my baby's daddy." 

The woman is always "one thousand percent sure" the man in question is the "daddy" because he was the "only one" she was with, or if more than one man has been tested, "the only other one."



What is the purpose of these tests? The woman always claims she wants the man to step up and be a daddy, but you can't force a man to act like a daddy if he doesn't want to.

If a man wants to love a child and be a daddy he will step forward. Bringing a bunch of men (there was at least one woman on Maury that had over 29 men tested at various times for the same child) onto a television show to have a DNA test does not a daddy make.

Due to the nature of our Hunter/Warrior forebearers, a man's role in the raising of a child had been minimal. The man brought home the meat and killed the enemies. The Hunter/Warrior placed himself in danger and didn't always survive to come home, so children were raised primarily by mothers.



In today's society men have serious choices to make, but if they choose wisely they will not be stuck making child support payments for the next 18-22 years. A man can wrap it, get a vasectomy, or he can keep it to himself.

If he spreads his sperm around the courts can order him to pay for the results of his activities, but they can't force him to be a daddy.

A woman has to decide if she wants to be a Mommy who is willing to love and nurture her child, whether she has a committed partner or not.

As a reader of romance, I always love the "secret baby" stories. 

As a writer, I love to write them.

As a realist, I know that not all men are Daddy material. If a woman chooses to have a child, she must face up to the fact that at some point in her life she may become a single parent. This could happen through death or design. 

If it is through design, such as a divorce, a good man will step up to the plate and remain in his child's life, but you can't force him to. If you have a child as a single mother, you must love the child enough so that he or she doesn't have a diminished self-esteem not having a father. 

That is not done by a constant search for a new daddy, nor is it accomplished by bemoaning the fact you have to do it all. 

It is achieved by doing the best you can and loving your children unconditionally.

There are fabulous fathers who love their children unconditionally too. 

To re-enforce your child's self-esteem never, ever, bad mouth the other parent. Remember, 50% of your child's DNA comes from that other parent. Even if that parent is no longer in the child's life.

As we approach Father's Day I would like to wish all the Daddies a Happy Day.






Saturday, June 7, 2014

Write a Review



In a perfect world a writer would not have to depend on strangers reviewing her book. 

However, in order for an author to be noticed reviews are necessary. 

If you read a book and you like it, an author would appreciate a simple review.

You don't have to summarize the book. 

You don't have to analyze the book.

All you have to do is rate it and say something nice.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Born to Bitch Revisited

A couple of years ago my friend Blanche Marriott wrote a book called Born to Bitch. 



http://www.amazon.com/Born-Bitch-Blanche-Marriott-ebook/dp/B006K7Y1H0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401772377&sr=8-1&keywords=born+to+bitch+blanche+marriott


(If you don't like people complaining about some hard truths now would be a good time to step away from this page.)

My Bitching revolves around driving.

The other day I had an appointment in the closest large city. I was driving a mommy van that I am not used to, on slick roads, on a two lane divided highway. 

I quickly discovered the brakes weren't as sharp as I like, so I increased my safety zone by an extra car length. 

A white Chevy joined us on the highway, quickly climbed up my butt. Me and my lead foot were in the passing lane because we were going fast enough to pass everyone in the slow lane.

The white Chevy then pulled into the slow lane, sped up, passed me on the inside (which is illegal in this state), and then cut back in front of me. On my nose! And hit the brakes to slow down. 

When white Chevy realized the butt riding wouldn't work on the pick-up in front, it then repeated the process. 

The second time they were stuck. No one would let them pass on the inside. For ten long miles I watched a very unhappy Chevy traveling one car ahead of me.

We exited the highway together. It was sweet Karma to know that all that tailgating had failed to get the Chevy anywhere fast.

When I was little the Shell Company had commercials on the air that said you should keep one car length between you and the car in front of you for every 10 MPH you are driving. 

Me and my lead foot have lived by that axiom for decades and it always pisses me off when some idiot cuts into my safety zone. Especially when I am driving a heavy vehicle with questionable brakes.

We were all lucky that day. My brakes worked well.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Bill of Rights

Yesterday I shared a petition to Sonic & Chile's asking them to create a non-weapons policy for their customers.

The reason for the petition is because groups of people armed with rifles and assault weapons are invading places such as Starbucks, Jack in the Box, Chipotle, Sonic, and Chile's and posting pictures.

They claim they are merely exercising their rights to bear arms.

Most people are not trying to take guns away from responsible gun owners; they merely want a few more controls placed on them. (Such as things like trigger locks, locked boxes, background checks.)

I am not going into the statistics of how many people die in America due to gun usage. (The gun people will tell you people die from hammers and cars too.)

I am not going to argue the Second Amendment here. 

To be quite honest, I like guns. I like target shooting. I like feisty heroines who can protect themselves. (Mara in The Misplaced Bride has a gun.)

What I take exception to is how abusive the commenters on the petition share became. 

One man told me to "pull up your little kids shorts" and get over it. He also told me I was paranoid and should never leave my house because I said I wouldn't take kids into Sonic for an ice cream if I saw all those men with guns.

In fact, over the course of over 90 comments (most of which I stopped reading) I, or my supporters, were called paranoid a number of times.

I cogitated on paranoia most of the night. 

The men who responded all said they carried to protect them and their families. Who sounds paranoid to you?

I do not need a gun to go food shopping or to take my kids for ice cream. I walk my dog at three in the morning. (Something I've done since I was a teen.) 

I am not afraid to travel nor am I afraid to go into cities, even the rougher parts of town. I do not fear strangers.

I am a rape survivor and I do not feel the need to arm myself to the teeth to be safe. 

It is my contention that someone who feels they must carry a gun to feel safe is the one who is paranoid.

What do you think?

If you would like to sign the petition or contact Chile's and Sonic yourself, the information is listed below.

http://act.everytown.org/sign/chilis-sonic-petition/?

Chili’s Grill and Bar: 
TWITTER: @Chilis #RibsNotRifles
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/Chilis
PHONE: Greg Artkop, Communications: (800) 775-7290 

Sonic Drive In: 
TWITTER: @sonicdrivein @plenow#ShakesNotShotguns
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sonicdrivein
PHONE: Patrick Lenow; Media Relations: (405) 225-5600
EMAIL: patrick.lenow@sonicdrivein.com

Monday, May 5, 2014

Imagine . . .



Imagine yourself walking down this lane barefoot.

Don't worry, there are no sticks or sharp twigs lying in wait to ambush your feet. 

Smell the sweet fragrance, feel the soft spring of the petals between your toes. Just breathe and relax . . .

Saturday, May 3, 2014

A Study of Dandelions

My mother lived in a suburb where the kids played in the street, even though everyone had a yard. There was more room on the street and it was neutral territory. If someone got mad they might go home with their ball, but you could still keep playing because they couldn't kick you off the street. 

But today's blog is not about playing in the street, it's about a man obsessed with having the perfect lawn.

The family were lovely people, but every kid in the neighborhood was afraid of his lawn. We played stickball and kickball in the street in front of his house and we knew that if he was home and the ball ended up in the front yard we were S.O.L.

They had a lovely veggie garden in the back, a single car garage where I tried to teach my friends how to dance and we put on shows, and a front lawn he was forever digging up.

To me the grass was lovely, but to him it was never right. Every year he would dig the entire thing up, search for rocks, pull up every root, and reseed. 

He set up little wooden stakes and ran strings (about two inches off the ground) from post to post with little flags that would blow and hopefully (from his point of view) scare the birds away. 

The children were never allowed on the grass. We really didn't mind because they had a lovely, roofed, front porch where we could play cards, board games, do homework, and read.

You are probably wondering why he tore up perfect lawns every year and spent hours hours flattening and leveling it.

Here is the reason:


This is not a picture of his actual lawn. His was a perfect deep green, with nary a dark spot. This is a picture I took today just because I love dandelions.

And I started thinking about how much Mr. B hated dandelions!

In my area dandelions are the true flower of spring. They are in bloom before the tulips, daffodils, and in some instances the crocuses. 

I took this picture on my walk today too. These beautiful flowers were not in bloom last week, but the dandelions were. 


This LittleGuy picked me a bouquet of them last week.


Dandelions are survivors. 

You may be able to dig them all out, but they will return. It just takes a few flying fairies and they replant themselves in your yard with no effort at all.



You don't have to water them, fertilize them, or even plant them.

Dandelions can grow anywhere:
Growing between the cement walkway and the cement slab of the building.
Growing on the sidewalk.
Growing  in the gutter between the street & the curb, surrounded by trash.
In the crevice of a stone wall.


Dandelion greens can be used in salads. They have a lemony flavor. You can cook them like spinach, or you can even make dandelion wine.

This recipe for dandelion soup looks delicious. I haven't made it yet, but I plan to tomorrow.

Here is a link for 5 recipes to make dandelion wine.

Here is a link to a wonderful blog where I found recipes for dandelion tea and coffee. 

I even found a recipe for dandelion jelly!

Dandelions are a good source of vitamins for your pet rodents.

The most important thing to look for in a dandelion is that it is pesticide and herbicide free. You may be coveting your neighbors dandelions, but before you raid his yard at midnight and pick them for your wine and jelly, make sure he hasn't used Round Up to kill the poor little things.

I must go now. I need to make a salad for dinner and I have to go raid my own yard for the greens. 
Sparky loves dandelions too.




Sunday, April 13, 2014

Monday, February 17, 2014

Wives and Lovers and other Propaganda

I was just sitting around working on my computer when this old song popped into my head.

It seemed bizarre, even to me, until I recalled a remark made in a news article I had been fuming about all day. The prosecutor told a mother he wasn't going to pursue the rapist of her five year old daughter because "boys will be boys." 

Hours later this song popped into my head and won't  go away . . . probably because of the line, "and men will always be men."

Then when I ran the entire song through my head I was incensed.

Jack Jones (the singer) was popular in the 60s, if you are old enough you may know his voice from doing the theme song for the Love Boat. Jack is a tall, good looking man (He was in the 60s and he still is today.) with a pleasant voice.

In 1963 Burt Bacharach and Hal David wrote this sweet little ditty which Jack Jones made a hit record of. 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyNewwkfD2o


Let's talk a little about propaganda. Wives and Lovers stands right up there with Tammy Wynette's Stand By Your Man.

Can you imagine a world where a woman has to be perfectly coiffured each morning as she kisses her husband at the door and sends him off to work? Because heaven forbid, if she isn't perfect "she may never see him again."

When I was little I lived in a well to do city. We lived in one of two tenements that were across the street from the Catholic church and the well to do people lived in the beautiful old Victorians on Center Street, Commonwealth Avenue, and Beacon Street.

The Center of our Village housed a beautiful small brick library, which was next to the large brick building which was known as the "Women's Club". I could watch the women in their pointy toed shoes, dresses, hats, and gloves go in and come out. I always wondered what they did in there.

I never found out, because unlike those women, my mother ran around in slacks, popped out a baby a year, and worked at the Hood Rubber making P.F. Flyer sneakers.

Every mother I knew worked outside of the home. They didn't have the luxury of going to weekly hair dresser appointments, wearing white gloves anywhere except to church on Sundays, and it may have been a blessing to many of those women if their husbands didn't come home.

It could have stopped the baby a year and the black eyes so many of them wore on a weekly basis. Please remember, in those days the attitude was "men will always be men" and she must have done something to really piss him off.

The late 60s and the 70s brought us music that made us question the attitudes that were acceptable up to that time.

There were many causes, all of them good, but right now I am only concerned with one. Women's Rights.

Before the pill women popped out baby after baby.

Women earned 59 cents for every dollar earned by a man.

Women were kept out of key jobs.

A battered woman had no recourse. If the cops showed up at the door, one cop would take the batterer for a walk to "cool down" while the other cop would tell her to stop doing whatever had set him off.

A woman very rarely reported rape. They were too ashamed.

Can you imagine a victim of a violent crime being too ashamed to report it?

For the last several years I have watched in horror as certain politicians and media people have tried to tear down some of the advancement women have made in equal rights.

Don't let this happen. To quote a Virginia Slim commercial (Heaven help me, I quoting a cigarette ad!) You've come a long way, baby. Don't let anyone take it away from you.

Break the Silence, let Washington know that we are here and we are not going back to a time when we were afraid not to be perfect.