Christmas Redux

I am giddy. Daughter #3 just came home from work with presents for moi! 

I must admit, I usually receive Llewellyn's Witches' Datebook for Christmas and this year I didn't receive one. I was gravely disappointed.

True, I start off the year putting my appointments into the book, but gradually I forget to add them in or I forget to check the book to find them. My mind is usually buried deep inside a story, either one of mine or one I am reading, and mundane things like a check-up just doesn't occur to me.

While my alter-ego was publishing her Totems and monthly horoscope books, the Witches' Datebook was crucial. And it still is!

(Please ignore the dates on the pictures, I haven't figured out how to change them or get rid of them yet!)

However, last year I remembered the joy I had when I was a list maker. (Only on projects, not on life or ~gasp~ cleaning!)

When I used to earn money from my needles, (knitting, crocheting, and sewing) I always had a project list. It always gave me great joy to cross a project off the list and date it. It helped to see the finished products listed so that when I was feeling like I was floundering rather than treading water I could see that I had actually achieved goals I had set.

(I always set the bar high. If the goals were too easy than I wouldn't really be accomplishing anything.)

After decades of writing, it was only in 2013 when I decided to write the Boundless Billionaire series and I compiled a list of possible titles for later books. That was when I realized I was back to list making.

I also know myself well enough to realize that I am a deadline person. The closer the deadline the harder I work. (You don't want to know when I decided what I was making everyone for Christmas or when I began making them!!!)

Daughter #1 lives in a rural part of another state, so when I go to visit her we always make a trip to the local stores to load up on things we both might need. It was while we were there that I saw a pretty little desk calendar blotter. 

I didn't buy it that day, but I went home and obsessed about it for weeks before I finally found the same thing in my closest store with a big blue sign. (They get enough business so I'm not naming them here, but they use a yellow smiley face in their commercials!)

I needed that desk planner to post my goals in writing. In INK!!! I ignored the fact that my desk is just a catch all surface and doesn't have a chair. I usually pile the pillows behind me and work on my bed or go to the library when I want to sit like a grown up.

Anyway, the pretty pink blotter was hung on my door with the schedule of children's events written on it. In ink!

In the meantime, before I bought the pretty pink blotter I was whining to Daughter #3 about how I had to find a planner that was set up with each week set across the page and a place to write the weekly goals. I wanted to know if B&N still had any for 2013 in stock. Finally she pulled out the one she had bought for herself and had only used for the first week of the year and gave it to me.

A page from the 2014 planner. (Not yet used.)

I was thrilled and overjoyed. I didn't know she had one, but suddenly it was mine.

I had a goals partner, and I am very good at cracking the whip and giving out advice, but very bad at taking my own advice. I needed that planner to hold my feet over the fire.

So, beginning in June I began writing my writing totals for the day on each day. It even involved math, because I would write the entire amount written to date on the project and then find the total amount of new words for the day. 

If I did not write that day I had to write in "0" and write the reason for not working on my story.

I set weekly goals and a completion date for each project. I might not always reach my goals, but I do my best to finish on the completion date! (Afterall, I am a Deadline Ho!)

The new planner has a month at a glance feature.

I have since expanded the tracking to include when I write a blog, newsletter, or work on my website. (It is so easy to lose track of time.)

In December, courtesy of the Christmas rush to make gifts, I added when I finished each gift. I have decided to continue the practice throughout 2014. Perhaps I will get presents done in a more leisurely manner. (Yeah, right!)

The presents also included a new crochet book.

 

It's amazing where you can find some good patterns. Some of the best come in the "How To" books.

The fourth gift she brought home was this pretty felt tote bag. I am a bag lady and proud of it. The felt has nice stiff sides, so it should be hold a couple of skeins of yarn without collapsing.

If you don't already make lists and you are searching for a way out of chaos, or at least to get something done, try making a list or adding a break down of what you have to do to your agenda. It not may help, but it might, and it won't hurt.

You'll also be in great company. Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, and Martha Stewart made lists, and look at all they have accomplished!

Now I hope you will all excuse me, I have my goals to set for next year. I'm going to put them into my planner . . . in INK!

The Kindness of Strangers

In September of 1990 I had my fifth child, the baby was perfect, but my future looked bleak. My ex, became my ex the week before I gave birth. My son was my second child in two years. My hormones were going crazy.

For months my ex put me through an emotional wringer. He had promised to spend Thanksgiving Day with the children, then never called. The next day my emotions overwhelmed me. I realized I could not remain on the roller coaster ride I had allowed my ex to turn my life into.

That night I went to my first Al-Anon meeting. Listening to other people describe the scenarios I had lived through, I realized I was not crazy. I had thought I was totally going bonkers! I felt infinitely better, but I knew by midweek I would be buried under stress and self-doubt. I needed to re-enforce the message.

I lived in a very small, rural town. I didn’t own a car. The daily Al-Non meetings were forty-five minutes away. A woman at the meeting suggested I attend AA meetings and apply the principals of Al-Anon every time someone said "One day without a drink." I was to think "One day without a drunk."

Starting on Monday and every day, after Sesame Street, I packed the two babies into the double stroller and walked to the AA meetings. My babies and I were welcomed with open arms. I remained quiet at the meetings, absorbing the strength the program gives to those who seek it.

Christmas Eve morning, my ex was at my door. He was drunk. To get him out of the house without further upsetting the children I walked him downtown, otherwise his girlfriend would pick him up at my house.

I left him waiting for her at the bakery.

The day was sunny, with a blustery wind coming off the snow covered mountains. I was agitated, afraid I would let emotions overwhelm me, I dreaded going home. Then a man from AA stepped out of the Post Office. He looked at my face and offered me a ride home.

He reminded me there are things in life we cannot control, especially the actions of others. My job was to take care of myself and my children. My ex was responsible for his own actions. I could not help him to quit drinking nor could I make him be a good father. He asked if I planned to attend a meeting that night or on Christmas Day. He assured me he would find me a ride if I needed one.

I felt better. The people in AA had been strangers a month earlier, but now they were my friends.

I had a network of people who cared. I felt whole.

I have since relocated to another state, but I will always remember that year. It was the year that I had the worst Thanksgiving and the best Christmas ever.

Material gifts are not what matter, not even to children. It is about caring for others. The stranger who drove me home talked to me when I needed it. I gave my children a happy day instead of moping. I didn’t go to a meeting; instead I invited people who were alone to spend the day with us. Good companions warm the soul like a fire in a hearth on a winter’s day.

The holidays are trying times for many. If you know someone who might be having a difficult time dealing with the holidays, please talk to them. Let them know that they are not alone, even when a person is surrounded by family, they can feel alone. Some people hide their distress behind smiles. Look them in the eyes and you will see the truth. 

When we give the gift of compassion it is the greatest gift of all.

Christmas Spirit

The Politicization of Christmas

This time of year I am filled with joy and good cheer. I love the brisk air, the cold nights in which to cuddle under warm blankets, and the joyful expectation of children awaiting a visit from Santa Claus.

However, there is a Grinch to throw a wrench into the works. According to many, retailers are trying to take "Christ out of Christmas" by having their employees wish everyone a "Happy Holiday" rather than say "Merry Christmas". Sorry to tell you, but big business took all religion out of Christmas over half a century ago.

Christmas did not become a federal holiday in the United States until Grant signed it into law on June 28, 1870. 

Turning Christmas into a political issue is nothing new. The Roman's were famous for adopting local Gods and turning them Roman to further ensnare the territories they claimed for the Empire. They adopted and then they adapted. 

Constantine knew the way to solidify his hold on the populace was to give them a God which would unify them, so he chose Christianity. It suited his needs.

The Roman Bishops decided on December 25th as the birth date of Jesus due to a surplus of Pagan holy days. The Church chose to place many high holy days on the same dates as Pagan holidays in order to stamp out the Pagan celebrations and to bring the Pagans into the Church. The Pagan celebrations, however, remain behind, hidden in what is now considered Christian tradition. For example: the Easter Bunny and Easter eggs replaced fertility celebrations, but bunnies and eggs were a big part of the celebration. So while the church holds sunrise masses to celebrate the Resurrection of the Christ, the people slip in their old fertility symbols. The Yule log, mistletoe, and Christmas tree are also 

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A Brief History of December Celebrations

December is a month of religious celebrations. Bodhi Day, Buddha's Enlightenment Day is celebrated on December 8, Hanukkah on December 8-15, the Yule on December 21, as is the Winter Solstice, Christmas Day is December 25, Kwanzaa is December 26.

December 25th is given as as the birthdate of the following Gods: Attis of Greece c1200 BCE, Krishna of India c900 BCE, Dionysus of Greece c500 BCE, Mithra of Persia c1200 BCE, Horus of Egypt c3000 BCE, and Jesus of Nazareth c1 CE (although some sources say it should be c4 CE).

There are other Gods which share the December 25th birthdate, but I couldn't find the years for them. They include Salivahana of Bermuda, Orus of Egypt, Odin of Scandinavia, Crite of Chaldez, Thammuz of Syria, Adad of Assyria, and Beddru of Japan.

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Personal Observation

To be fair to retailers, in the light of all these holy days in December, it makes sense for them to say Happy Holidays and not offend those who do not celebrate Christmas.

However, 82% of all Americans list their religious leanings as Christian. Should retailers be offending 82% of the buying public, the segment which actually does the lion's share of the buying for Christmas? It could bring repercussions the God of big business, Profit, wouldn't like.

When I hear the words Happy Holidays, I see a bunch of adults wearing evening attire and sipping drinks at a staid party. The colors are muted, as are the voices.

Merry Christmas evokes images of brightly colored packages and laughing children ripping them open, hot chocolate and joyful singing, and crowds of people happily shopping and saying nice things to each other. 

Does it really matter if the person bagging your order says "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas"? Isn't it more important that they acknowledge you, smile, and wish you well from their hearts? Anyone can mumble the words by rote. During the December holidays, more than any other, it is important to have friendly communications with others. Christmas can be the happiest of times or the saddest of times. It is important to let others know that they are not alone.

May you find peace and enlightenment. May the blessings of the Yule be upon you. Joyful Kwanzaa. Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas. Enjoy!

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