Love is in the air!

Winter is a time of blustery winds, warm blankets, and book friends to fill your heart.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Are We Minimizing Dads

Okay. Many people might find this blog offensive, so I apologize in advance. (But I am going to write the damn thing anyway!)

I guess someone in the Sinatra family wants more money because the image and voice of Frank Sinatra (He died on May 14, 1998), not to mention his name, is being used to sell Jack Daniel's Sinatra Select.



That is a business decision someone has made, and it is a brilliant marketing plan.

However, the commercials remind me of Mia Farrows' claim that the son she previously claimed was the product of Woody Allen's loins is actually the result of Frank Sinatra's sperm.


If that is true, why did she let the world go on thinking for a couple of decades that the poor boy was the son of an alleged pedophile? Growing up with the stigma that your "father" raped one of your sisters is not something a loving mother should do to her child, especially if the young man was not the offspring of the alleged pedophile.

Then we have all the young women, and some not so young women, going on Maury and other talk shows wanting to prove which man out of the multitudes "is my baby's daddy." 

The woman is always "one thousand percent sure" the man in question is the "daddy" because he was the "only one" she was with, or if more than one man has been tested, "the only other one."



What is the purpose of these tests? The woman always claims she wants the man to step up and be a daddy, but you can't force a man to act like a daddy if he doesn't want to.

If a man wants to love a child and be a daddy he will step forward. Bringing a bunch of men (there was at least one woman on Maury that had over 29 men tested at various times for the same child) onto a television show to have a DNA test does not a daddy make.

Due to the nature of our Hunter/Warrior forebearers, a man's role in the raising of a child had been minimal. The man brought home the meat and killed the enemies. The Hunter/Warrior placed himself in danger and didn't always survive to come home, so children were raised primarily by mothers.



In today's society men have serious choices to make, but if they choose wisely they will not be stuck making child support payments for the next 18-22 years. A man can wrap it, get a vasectomy, or he can keep it to himself.

If he spreads his sperm around the courts can order him to pay for the results of his activities, but they can't force him to be a daddy.

A woman has to decide if she wants to be a Mommy who is willing to love and nurture her child, whether she has a committed partner or not.

As a reader of romance, I always love the "secret baby" stories. 

As a writer, I love to write them.

As a realist, I know that not all men are Daddy material. If a woman chooses to have a child, she must face up to the fact that at some point in her life she may become a single parent. This could happen through death or design. 

If it is through design, such as a divorce, a good man will step up to the plate and remain in his child's life, but you can't force him to. If you have a child as a single mother, you must love the child enough so that he or she doesn't have a diminished self-esteem not having a father. 

That is not done by a constant search for a new daddy, nor is it accomplished by bemoaning the fact you have to do it all. 

It is achieved by doing the best you can and loving your children unconditionally.

There are fabulous fathers who love their children unconditionally too. 

To re-enforce your child's self-esteem never, ever, bad mouth the other parent. Remember, 50% of your child's DNA comes from that other parent. Even if that parent is no longer in the child's life.

As we approach Father's Day I would like to wish all the Daddies a Happy Day.






Saturday, June 7, 2014

Write a Review



In a perfect world a writer would not have to depend on strangers reviewing her book. 

However, in order for an author to be noticed reviews are necessary. 

If you read a book and you like it, an author would appreciate a simple review.

You don't have to summarize the book. 

You don't have to analyze the book.

All you have to do is rate it and say something nice.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Born to Bitch Revisited

A couple of years ago my friend Blanche Marriott wrote a book called Born to Bitch. 



http://www.amazon.com/Born-Bitch-Blanche-Marriott-ebook/dp/B006K7Y1H0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401772377&sr=8-1&keywords=born+to+bitch+blanche+marriott


(If you don't like people complaining about some hard truths now would be a good time to step away from this page.)

My Bitching revolves around driving.

The other day I had an appointment in the closest large city. I was driving a mommy van that I am not used to, on slick roads, on a two lane divided highway. 

I quickly discovered the brakes weren't as sharp as I like, so I increased my safety zone by an extra car length. 

A white Chevy joined us on the highway, quickly climbed up my butt. Me and my lead foot were in the passing lane because we were going fast enough to pass everyone in the slow lane.

The white Chevy then pulled into the slow lane, sped up, passed me on the inside (which is illegal in this state), and then cut back in front of me. On my nose! And hit the brakes to slow down. 

When white Chevy realized the butt riding wouldn't work on the pick-up in front, it then repeated the process. 

The second time they were stuck. No one would let them pass on the inside. For ten long miles I watched a very unhappy Chevy traveling one car ahead of me.

We exited the highway together. It was sweet Karma to know that all that tailgating had failed to get the Chevy anywhere fast.

When I was little the Shell Company had commercials on the air that said you should keep one car length between you and the car in front of you for every 10 MPH you are driving. 

Me and my lead foot have lived by that axiom for decades and it always pisses me off when some idiot cuts into my safety zone. Especially when I am driving a heavy vehicle with questionable brakes.

We were all lucky that day. My brakes worked well.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Bill of Rights

Yesterday I shared a petition to Sonic & Chile's asking them to create a non-weapons policy for their customers.

The reason for the petition is because groups of people armed with rifles and assault weapons are invading places such as Starbucks, Jack in the Box, Chipotle, Sonic, and Chile's and posting pictures.

They claim they are merely exercising their rights to bear arms.

Most people are not trying to take guns away from responsible gun owners; they merely want a few more controls placed on them. (Such as things like trigger locks, locked boxes, background checks.)

I am not going into the statistics of how many people die in America due to gun usage. (The gun people will tell you people die from hammers and cars too.)

I am not going to argue the Second Amendment here. 

To be quite honest, I like guns. I like target shooting. I like feisty heroines who can protect themselves. (Mara in The Misplaced Bride has a gun.)

What I take exception to is how abusive the commenters on the petition share became. 

One man told me to "pull up your little kids shorts" and get over it. He also told me I was paranoid and should never leave my house because I said I wouldn't take kids into Sonic for an ice cream if I saw all those men with guns.

In fact, over the course of over 90 comments (most of which I stopped reading) I, or my supporters, were called paranoid a number of times.

I cogitated on paranoia most of the night. 

The men who responded all said they carried to protect them and their families. Who sounds paranoid to you?

I do not need a gun to go food shopping or to take my kids for ice cream. I walk my dog at three in the morning. (Something I've done since I was a teen.) 

I am not afraid to travel nor am I afraid to go into cities, even the rougher parts of town. I do not fear strangers.

I am a rape survivor and I do not feel the need to arm myself to the teeth to be safe. 

It is my contention that someone who feels they must carry a gun to feel safe is the one who is paranoid.

What do you think?

If you would like to sign the petition or contact Chile's and Sonic yourself, the information is listed below.

http://act.everytown.org/sign/chilis-sonic-petition/?

Chili’s Grill and Bar: 
TWITTER: @Chilis #RibsNotRifles
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/Chilis
PHONE: Greg Artkop, Communications: (800) 775-7290 

Sonic Drive In: 
TWITTER: @sonicdrivein @plenow#ShakesNotShotguns
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sonicdrivein
PHONE: Patrick Lenow; Media Relations: (405) 225-5600
EMAIL: patrick.lenow@sonicdrivein.com

Monday, May 5, 2014

Imagine . . .



Imagine yourself walking down this lane barefoot.

Don't worry, there are no sticks or sharp twigs lying in wait to ambush your feet. 

Smell the sweet fragrance, feel the soft spring of the petals between your toes. Just breathe and relax . . .

Saturday, May 3, 2014

A Study of Dandelions

My mother lived in a suburb where the kids played in the street, even though everyone had a yard. There was more room on the street and it was neutral territory. If someone got mad they might go home with their ball, but you could still keep playing because they couldn't kick you off the street. 

But today's blog is not about playing in the street, it's about a man obsessed with having the perfect lawn.

The family were lovely people, but every kid in the neighborhood was afraid of his lawn. We played stickball and kickball in the street in front of his house and we knew that if he was home and the ball ended up in the front yard we were S.O.L.

They had a lovely veggie garden in the back, a single car garage where I tried to teach my friends how to dance and we put on shows, and a front lawn he was forever digging up.

To me the grass was lovely, but to him it was never right. Every year he would dig the entire thing up, search for rocks, pull up every root, and reseed. 

He set up little wooden stakes and ran strings (about two inches off the ground) from post to post with little flags that would blow and hopefully (from his point of view) scare the birds away. 

The children were never allowed on the grass. We really didn't mind because they had a lovely, roofed, front porch where we could play cards, board games, do homework, and read.

You are probably wondering why he tore up perfect lawns every year and spent hours hours flattening and leveling it.

Here is the reason:


This is not a picture of his actual lawn. His was a perfect deep green, with nary a dark spot. This is a picture I took today just because I love dandelions.

And I started thinking about how much Mr. B hated dandelions!

In my area dandelions are the true flower of spring. They are in bloom before the tulips, daffodils, and in some instances the crocuses. 

I took this picture on my walk today too. These beautiful flowers were not in bloom last week, but the dandelions were. 


This LittleGuy picked me a bouquet of them last week.


Dandelions are survivors. 

You may be able to dig them all out, but they will return. It just takes a few flying fairies and they replant themselves in your yard with no effort at all.



You don't have to water them, fertilize them, or even plant them.

Dandelions can grow anywhere:
Growing between the cement walkway and the cement slab of the building.
Growing on the sidewalk.
Growing  in the gutter between the street & the curb, surrounded by trash.
In the crevice of a stone wall.


Dandelion greens can be used in salads. They have a lemony flavor. You can cook them like spinach, or you can even make dandelion wine.

This recipe for dandelion soup looks delicious. I haven't made it yet, but I plan to tomorrow.

Here is a link for 5 recipes to make dandelion wine.

Here is a link to a wonderful blog where I found recipes for dandelion tea and coffee. 

I even found a recipe for dandelion jelly!

Dandelions are a good source of vitamins for your pet rodents.

The most important thing to look for in a dandelion is that it is pesticide and herbicide free. You may be coveting your neighbors dandelions, but before you raid his yard at midnight and pick them for your wine and jelly, make sure he hasn't used Round Up to kill the poor little things.

I must go now. I need to make a salad for dinner and I have to go raid my own yard for the greens. 
Sparky loves dandelions too.